Lately, I have been feeling malaise relating to my job. I’m not sure if this is the result of the environment, the workload, the peer interactions or if I have changed somehow. I think it might be a combination of all of the above.
When I first started working here, I was on part-time nights and weekends. Within a year, I had moved to weekend overnights – and the shift was more of an on call situation, so I was allowed to sleep on the job provided there were no calls coming in. About 10 months after that, I started working the occasional weekday as training for when I covered for a co-worker while she was on mat. leave, so by the end of my second year here, I was working full-time days. I was offered a permanent full-time days position a few months before that contract was up.
Earlier this month marked my 4-year anniversary with my employer. I have never worked anywhere for 4 years; I don’t think I’ve ever worked anywhere for more than 12 consecutive months.
This job was the first job that I loved from the start and continued to love throughout most of my time here. It’s only recently, within the past year, that the glow has begun to fade. When I was working nights and weekends – and overnights – I was mostly on my own in the office. I came in, I covered my shift, I did all the work that came up as it came up, and then I went home. I loved that. When I was covering for my co-worker’s mat leave, things were a bit different. I was no longer alone in the office, but I worked solo on most of my projects, so I still came in, covered my shift, did all the work that came up as it came up, and then went home. The permanent position that I was offered is in a more team-like setting. Now I interact with coworkers a lot more than I ever did in the other positions. So, I come in, I cover my shift, I do all the work that comes in for me as it comes in; the difference is, if someone else is sick or on vacation, I might be asked to cover some or all of their work. On the face of it, that doesn’t sound unreasonable, and it isn’t. But, over time, my attitude has morphed from “glad to help” to “feeling overwhelmed and put out,” and I don’t like that.
I have never been a particularly patient person. I tend to get frustrated and annoyed way too easily. Lately, this has started to be a problem for me at work. I am constantly on edge and terse when people ask me questions, or approach me for assistance. I REALLY don’t like that.
I feel like it’s time for a change, but I’m reluctant to try to find another job. What if I go through the entire process and wind up still feeling this malaise? What if the problem lies entirely with me, and a change of venue doesn’t change anything? And that’s not taking into account any guilt I’ll feel for leaving my current employer in the lurch, so to speak. I’m not the perfect employee, but I think that I am a pretty good employee – at least as far as productivity is concerned, even if I need to work on my attitude.
This entire situation is upsetting. Most upsetting is the fact that I used to love working here. I remember loving working here. It makes me feel sad that I don’t love it anymore.
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Is there any possibility of taking on a completely different project or task for a while? Maybe something fresh and challenging might help make things easier while you are there? I know you said you already have a full workload, but thought I'd throw it out there.
Is there any possibility of taking on a completely different project or task for a while? Maybe something fresh and challenging might help make things easier while you are there? I know you said you already have a full workload, but thought I'd throw it out there.
I hate the feeling of not being happy at work. It's the place you spend the better part of your waking hours at, and for it to not be enjoyable just eats away at you! I've been there MANY times myself.
This suggestion is a good one, but doesn't apply to my line of work. I work in client services and staffing/scheduling, my workload if primarily dependent on the number of case referrals we get for the geographic area that I cover and secondarily dependent on the number of workers who do or do not call in to book the day off (due to illness, bad driving conditions, no child care, etc) on any given day. Since there is absolutely no way to predict whether I will be completely swamped or not, it isn't feasible to take on a different project/task. There are no "projects" anyways. As far as other "tasks" – if I were not doing what I currently do, there would be no reason to employ me. This isn't an office with multiple purposes, so there's no possibility of transferring to another department or even just doing a different job for the same department.
I think it's fairly normal for some personality types to feel that way. I left my last workplace because I was losing my mind – and there was no real reason to. The job was the same, the people had changed some but more or less I enjoyed them, but I'd just had it. I was no longer challenged, I didn't see any room to grow, move, etc and so then, I got lazy and started hating it and getting sick, etc. I know I have a fairly short attention span so I can foresee my not wanting to do any one thing for more than a few years at a time. Conversely, some of the people we know would happily stay doing exactly the same thing for the next 30 years if it meant not having to deal with change.
I can relate. I've been with my current employer for 6 YEARS now…that boggles my mind. Of course 2 of those years I was off on Mat leave but still.
I too am feeling a little malaise. The job used to be enjoyable but now I'm bored. I want some new challenges and there are other things (office environment, co-workers)I am starting to dislike as well. BUT the job market still kinda sucks so I don't want to take a chance plus my hubby is currently looking for a job so I can't just up and quit and find something new.
Life bites sometimes huh?
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