more about how we decided

I’ve been telling my friends the news, and Tiny Dancer responded: “Pretty exciting! what made you decide?”

This was my reply, which sort of fleshes out some of the details I didn’t mention in my previous post on this blog.

I had blogged a while ago that JMar was starting to warm up to the idea of having children from exposure to children who are not little monsters. I mean, up to the point when he and I got together, the only people he knew who had children had them when they were in their teens and early twenties. I’m not judging all young parents, but around here young parents tend to be bad parents – pepsi in the baby bottle, no discipline, hardly any attention paid to the kids…

I guess in the last year, we have been talking about “when we have kids…” with regular frequency. Conversations sparked by stuff we see on a TV show or movie, or something in the news, or just seeing an example of really good or really bad parenting while we are out and about.

The decision to stop using birth control now came about after my Dr’s appointment last month. The Dr told me that he could get me started back on birth control pills, and that got me thinking about whether I even want to be on the pill. It takes some women up to 18 months to start ovulating properly after being on the pill, and if we want a family someday, we have to start trying before I am 35 to increase the chances of a relatively easy conception and a healthy pregnancy and baby.

I was talking to Lucy at work about it, and she asked why we were waiting, and the only concrete reason I had was that I wanted to get married first. We can’t afford to get married now – I have a moderately priced “dream wedding” in mind, but we have too much debt to start adding to it right now. It’ll probably be a couple of years before we could even consider a wedding. Lucy (and Wondermom – a.k.a. SKWM) pointed out that we don’t HAVE to be married to have a baby, and though I WANTED to do it in that order, I might be shooting myself in the foot.

Over the next two nights, JMar and I discussed it, and we decided that we are not going to go gung ho trying, but we are ready to stop using birth control and let nature take its course.

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